It is perhaps too facile, too easy, to damn Russell Crowe's latest exercise in retro masculinty with marine metaphors -- waterlogged? soggy? adrift? -- but sadly for Mr. Crowe and his legendary director Peter Weir (Fearless, The Truman Show), such descriptors are accurate of both the noble crewmen and the plodding state of MASTER AND COMMANDER: THE FAR SIDE OF THE WORLD. Although visually beautiful, and artfully rendered, the film never grabs the gusto of a true swashbuckling adventure. Sure, there's fighting aplenty, and lots of quaint seafaring jargon as well...but the mirthless atmosphere and laid-back narrative strip Crowe and his aquatic drama of any fun it could have had.

It should be noted that MASTER AND COMMANDER is by no means a disaster like Waterworld; if you're looking for filmic comparisons, think Das Boot minus the gripping tension, or Mutiny on the Bounty minus the mutiny. Technically, Weir has delivered a glistening panoramic paean to British naval history. Based on the series of popular novels by Patrick O'Brian, Weir's adapation revels in the fine details of shipboard life, a meticulous construction that is intoxicating in its thoroughness. Ultimately, however, the sea-picture it may be most compared to is the behemoth of the genre, Titanic -- another historical piece that was long on technical wizardry and light on narrative. When sailing the seven seas, gentlemen, don't forget to bring the script along.

As Captain Jack Aubrey, Crowe exhibits the brio, courage, foolhardiness and leadership that are the stuff of legend...and legendary characters. But Crowe's natural coolness works against the genre here; instead of energetic nobility, we get smoldering rage. Crowe is undoubtedly a talented man, and with Aubrey, he doesn't embarrass himself. Still, watching him, one gains a new appreciation for the effortless poise that Errol Flynn and Trevor Howard brought to similar roles in Captain Blood and the aforementioned Bounty. There's just not enough zing to make for a ripping good yarn, a quality MASTER AND COMMANDER cries out for.

The time is 1805, when the Napoleon-led French armies are making their grab for empire. Avoiding Europe altogether, MASTER AND COMMANDER instead focuses on the waters off of South America, where Aubrey and his command, the H.M.S. Surprise, has been ordered to keep the French from establishing a naval presence in the area -- in particular, the sleek new French ship Acheron. Stronger, faster, and better armed, the Acheron has the ability to dominate the Surprise, and only the cleverness and cunning of the Brits will allow them to see victory. (Another comparison -- classic underdog Rocky Balboa, only with boats. Okay, I'll stop, I promise.)

The growing tensions of the tired, hungry and homesick crew make up the little character drama that exists in MASTER AND COMMANDER. It includes the expected concerns with seafaring superstitions (that find a focal point in a timid midshipman), but also a few surprising, if underexplored, turns. Paul Bettany (A Knight's Tale) brings great pathos to his role of Maturin, the ship's doctor, who is also a closet naturalist. The film's most entertaining segment, in fact, is the Surprise's stopover in the Galapagos Islands, where Maturin marvels at species and creatures never seen by Western eyes before. Max Pirkis labors mightily as a pre-teen midshipman who suffers early tragedy before coming to command men four times his age in battle. Historical accuracy aside, the cherubic waif Pirkis is simply miscast; his angelic femininity pushes the intriguing character toward implausibility.

Chasing each other across the open seas, the two ships are breaktakingly captured by cinematographer Russell Boyd, who instinctly grasps the need for scale; straining toward the epic, MASTER AND COMMANDER achieves grandeur through its languid, luxurious shots of man versus nature. The inevitable hurricane-level storms are well-executed, too, although one may wonder if Mark Wahlberg's still-drowning character from A Perfect Storm may happen to be floating nearby. The score, cribbed from violin concertos by many of the classic masters, intrudes upon the action in a way that compositions specifically intended for film do not. The choice, in this case, is wrongheaded.

As our culture speeds up to caffeinated, video-game levels, one may welcome the arrival of a leisurely action picture; certainly the herky-jerky editing that typified so many actioners these days could use a break now and then. The feeling that is left by MASTER AND COMMANDER, though, is not one of peacefulness but turgidity; what should be pleasantly leisurely is instead just irritating slow. There's no doubt that Russell Crowe is built for the Historical Hero wing of the Hollywood Hall of Fame; but even a marine matinee idol still needs to dry off and get moving.

Review text copyright © 2003 Mixed Reviews. All rights reserved. Reproduction of text in whole or in part in any form or in any medium without express written permission of Mixed Reviews or the author is prohibited.

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